Rediscovering Ultimate Joy

 

I’m going to start off by reiterating something that struck me earlier this week.  I find it so amazing when the arrow of life feels like it's dragging you further and further backwards to the point you feel like you’ll break from the pressure, when all of a sudden the taut string of the bow launches you forward into something you never dreamed could ever exist.  I am calling this rediscovering ultimate joy.  Joy: happiness, delight, pleasure, elation, exultation, rapture, heaven.  

Those of you that know me well know that I haven’t exactly had the easiest road to travel by in my life.  Don’t we all have our burdens?  But they affect us all differently.  To me, life has been one tragedy/heartbreak/death after another.  Not that I have trouble finding happiness!  I consider myself to be incredibly and deeply blessed by those around me and the experiences I’ve had.  And I am thankful for these blessings.  But I didn’t know until now, now that I’m in Africa doing exactly what my heart has wanted to do for as long as I can remember, that something was actually missing.  A large hole in my heart had never really healed…that is, until now.  

The biggest tragedy in my life was losing my grandfather during my freshman year of college.  It was something that struck me to the core and refused to heal.  My grandfather was one of those people who could see into you, he saw the real you.  I don’t know if any of you have been blessed with someone in your life that loves you more than anything else in the world, would do anything for you, could see into your very soul, and change you, but that was what my grandfather was to me.  He was many more things to me, but those memories are for me.  He was the one person that I loved more than life itself, and I’ve never had such a connection with another person since his passing.  Of course I love my mom, dad, siblings, grandparents etc. but the love I still have for Grandpa is in a league of its own.  And I don’t expect to find it again.

So my grandfather has been a huge force in my life, even now.  Every big decision I’ve ever made has been made with him in the forefront of my mind.  I think if it’s something that he would be proud of, would he agree with the decision, you get my point.  Grandpa has had his hand in my life every moment since his death.  When I traveled to Scotland to follow his footsteps to his favorite place in all the world, he was there with me every step of the way.  And it was in that moment when I stood staring over his little piece of heaven that I found I was finally healed.  Healed from every other bad thing that had ever happened to me, but most importantly healed from the loss of Grandpa.  Little did I know that he had something else planned for me. 

Goliath basking in the sun

Now as I’m on my own again, traveling on the other side of the world, I find Grandpa with me in a stronger force that I haven’t felt since Scotland almost three years ago.  He knew it was a dream to travel to Africa as well as my passion for big cats.  And now that I’m here, my goals have all culminated.  I’ve made it.  Everything I worked so hard for is now sitting happily in the palm of my hand.  And Grandpa knew all along!  But the thing is, what I have discovered here in the wide-open country, surrounded by lions, was so unexpected.  I never even hoped to dream that it could be SO great here. 

I’ve found my heaven.  I’ve found my ultimate joy. 

I think we all search for that sense of belonging.  That need for acceptance.  That home away from home.  The thing is, the moment my foot touched solid ground here I was home.  Everything from the smell of the rain, to the way the sun hits the mountains in the morning, to the incredible relationships I’ve been developing, to the cats roaring so loud it reverberates through my body, has brought me to the realization that I am exactly where I belong.  I have become that lion-hearted girl.  That hole in my heart was searching for this.  For its ultimate joy.  And I’ve found it.  That arrow of life tends to catch us by surprise, doesn’t it?  Thanks, God. 

Yours,

~K~

Into the Lion's Den

Hello, friends and dear family!

Wow, what a week!  I don’t know if I can even begin to describe to you just how incredible this place and its people are.  This week I want to talk about meaningful things that happened this week and how different Africa is from the US; the culture, the people, the earth, everything.  So here goes!

This week we did a lot of cleaning of lion enclosures as usual.  Every morning we cover at least two as you may remember from last time.  This week we cleaned my favorite lion’s enclosure (Gaucho).  I was immediately struck by how different this lion is from the others.  By the way, I’m going to go on a tangent for a second.  These animals each have their own personality, they are so charismatic in their own way, and anyone who goes so far to say that an animal doesn’t have a soul, well you couldn’t be more wrong.  And honestly, if you think that, then I dare you to crawl into the lion’s den like I did this week.  Anyways, Gaucho.  He doesn’t eat the bones of his chickens.  He completely strips the skin of feathers and the flesh from the bone.  I found several perfect little chicken skeletons (sans the heads, he seems to like those) in a neat little pile.  Then his “house” as they call it here, or his den, was full of feathers.  So many that you couldn’t see the earth beneath.  I crawled into his den on my hands and knees and gathered the feathers.  Then I sat there laughing because I was literally in a lion’s den, seeing what he sees.  You may not find that quite so funny as I do, but it was something that struck me pretty deep this week.

Ringo and Aneta

Also something that shines pretty bright in my memory of last week was a little Dutch boy.  I was “monitoring” people during the feeding on Friday and saw a little boy hugging a fence post having a tantrum.  I could tell he was really tired.  This boy was maybe 3 or 4 years old.  His mom stood there asking him if he wanted her to carry him, which only made him cry harder.  So I crouched in front of him and asked him if he wanted me to carry him.  He immediately dried his tears, grinning from ear to ear, and ran to me for me to pick him up.  He started blabbering in Dutch and pointing to the lion on my shirt.  It was really sweet and his mother kept thanking me for saving her back the trouble.  The boy, Guy, finally talked in halting English about the lions.  His older brother came running over to tell me about how all the lions in the park are his brothers and sisters.  And that he was born a lion, but can change between a boy and a lion.  So I asked him to give me his best lion roar, he got down on his hands and knees and roared (a lot like Simba in The Lion King!).  I carried Guy all the way back to reception while talking with his parents.  Then he kissed me on the cheek, thanked me and they left.  It really made my day. 

Ok, onto my next topic for this week.  Everything is different here.  First of all, the food is incredibly good.  And very healthy.  I have a jar of peanut butter here and the ingredients are as follows: peanuts (99%), water.  That’s it.  No sugar, fats, corn syrup, salts, nothing.  My body went through serious detox when I got here, even though we eat as wholesome and organic as possible at home.  It’s comforting to know I’m not pumping my body full of plastic and preservatives and cancer.  The meat doesn’t have red slime added to it.  It’s just meat.  Everything is a product of South Africa.  Even Coke products, which have an ingredient list 4 ingredients long. 

Then there are the cars and trucks (or bakkie as they say in Afrikaans).  The driver is on the right hand side and they drive on the left side of the road!  It definitely took some getting used to, but now I know I could drive safely if I ever need to.  You just have to think of everything opposite.  My only problem is that I don’t look the right way when crossing the road on foot.  I’ve very nearly gotten hit a few times when out and about. 

Then there are the people!  I am quickly falling in love with everyone I am surrounded by every day.  Everyone here speaks both English and Afrikaans, usually a smattering of the two mixed together.  I am quickly picking up Afrikaans, too.  I understand more and more every day, though I’m sure speaking it will be a very different process!  Anyways, they swear up the wazoo and throw insults at each other constantly.  I’ve found that in the Afrikaans culture (at least Western Cape) sarcasm is a way of showing that you like someone and enjoy his or her presence.  So if an insult is thrown your way, you better well have a good comeback and fast.  Luckily, those of you who know me very well know, sarcasm is my “love language” as I like to call it.  So I find that fitting in here has been the easiest transition for me.  I have witty battles with everyone here constantly, and we laugh a lot.  That’s what I’m beginning to love about here at the park, that we laugh often.

Then there’s the environment itself.  I am surrounded by mountains on every side, which are bare rock and backed by forests full of a population of leopard.  Yes, leopard!  We have scrublands on all sides, with a wine vineyard to the South.  The nearby town of Paarl is nestled in a rocky valley.  The land is truly beautiful, the earth is red.  There has been the most perfect weather every day I’ve been here.  Only one day so far was rainy, and that rain was truly blessed!  Did you know that Toto was right all along?  Also African rains smell different than back home.  Maybe it’s because the Indian Ocean is so close, or the mountains, or the different plants.  But it smells sweeter, and more raw if that makes sense.  This place is absolutely charged with a deep power that you can feel if you’re looking for it.  And the wind is different too.  It’s strange to think that a wind from the South brings cold, and wind from the North brings heat.  Plus the wind buffets around the mountains, it seems a fickle thing as it constantly changes direction.

Lastly, there is the night.  My old friend Orion watches over me every night, my friendly winter warrior.  He’s been my favorite constellation for as long as I can remember.  He appears only in winter back home, and winter brings so much joy to me.  So it makes sense that he would follow me to an African winter.  But he’s the only constellation I recognize.  The stars to the South are completely alien to me.  And it’s like staring into a void.  The night sky is so deeply black it’s almost blue, and you can always see the Milky Way (which Nina told me in German literally translates to “Milk Street” – fun fact of the day).  When I turn my light off every night, I am surrounded by the night noises of this piece of heaven I’ve found.  There are peepers (frogs), little mice that squeal to one another, once in a while a squawk from one of the swans, a chirp from Rupert the caracal, the scream of an owl or kite (not sure which), and the lions.  Oh, the lions.  There is nothing so powerful or bone shaking as the roar of these lions at night.  Once one starts, the rest follow.  And they’re usually the loudest around 3 or 4 am when it’s the darkest.  And I love every bit of it.

The beautiful night sky

So that is where I leave you, friends.  My heart is truly happy here.  And knowing that I’m right where I’m meant to be is all I need. 

Ps. 104:21-2  “The young lions roar for their prey, seeking their food from God.  When the sun rises, they withdraw and lie down in their dens.”

I’m working on being a young lion.  Seeking, seeking, seeking.

Yours,

~K~

p.s.  Random thought of the day:  I want to learn how to play the banjo.  Eric James, start learning!

My first week in South Africa!!!

First of all, hello!!!  I am alive and well after my first strenuous week in AFRICA!  I figured I might as well just start and go with it, so hang in there because I have a lot to say! 

The week previous to my departure was an absolute whirlwind.  I had errands, trips downstate, packing, visiting family, packing, seeing friends last minute, packing, spending time with my favorite dog ever, did I mention packing?  It went by so fast, and I send out a huge thanks to those that took the time to call me or see me before I left.  I am constantly blessed by all the love and support I am surrounded by, and I just wanted to say thanks! 

The day of my departure started out great with coffee and donuts and a wonderful visit from the lovely Bridget Bernhard (thanks, Bridgie!).  After she left, it was stressful and I was on the verge of a panic attack as time moved closer to my leaving.  If not for my brother, Eric, I would have had an attack because my mind was swirling about being gone for six months and especially the flying.  Many of you know I hate flying.  Saying good-bye to my cat, Lucky, and my dog, Eli, was I think the hardest part.  Eli has been my buddy ever since I finished school.  He goes everywhere with me.  And my kitty, well he’s been my kitty for over 16 years now; I’m always sentimental leaving him behind.  I know he’s going to be so pissed at me when I get home.  He ignored me for three days straight when I got back from Italy, then finally caved.  Such a cat. 

Mom, Eric, Dad, Loie, and Grandma came to see me off at the TC airport.  It was hard saying good-bye, but I kept it together until Eric started praying over me (thanks a lot, bro…just kidding – I needed it).  It’s beyond me how Mom kept it together the whole time, even after I went through security.  She must have been a faucet in the car.  Gave everybody multiple hugs before going through security without a mishap (I packed my knives in my checked bag, don’t worry).   Once I was on the plane and taking off from Traverse City I calmed down completely and set my eyes toward my goal that was finally, after all this time, coming to fruition (thanks, Russ Larimer, for implanting that word in my vocabulary).  The flight to Paris was awful.  I barely slept, I had only a tiny bit of leg-room, the people stank badly around me and to top it all off, the man behind me would punch my seat forward every time I tried to lean it back.  Lovely guy, truly. 

Paris, though, was wonderful.  I had a 15 hour layover, so took the train into the city center for about ten hours of the day.  I was that annoying tourist lugging around a carry-on bag on the cobblestones.  I was embarrassing, I know, but I didn’t really care at that point.  I started out walking around Notre Dame then along the Seine for quite a ways until I met the Jardin des Tuileries (which is where the Louvre is) where I sat down for a while and just watched people.  It was quite warm and sunny that day; springtime in Paris is gorgeous.  Last time I was there it was December.  I was on a mission to get to the Musée Rodin, for when Mom, Grandma and I were in Paris, it was closed.  I walked probably 2 miles to get there, and thank the good Lord it was open, because I was getting tired and ornery.  The guard at the front flirted with me and told me I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in the world (which I didn’t believe because I had been on a plane for 8 hours and desperately needed a shower).  The Rodin museum was wonderful and everything I had hoped it would be.  I kept nodding off on one of the benches in the garden so I decided it was time to go.  I sat down again in the Jardin des Tuileries then went back to the airport to await my flight for Cape Town.  I didn’t have anyone in the seat next to me or behind me, so I managed to sleep for almost the entirety of the 11 hour flight.  And finally, FINALLY I arrived in South Africa.

I had a wonderful private driver take me out to Drakenstein Lion Park (I was leery of taking a cab all alone) and he pointed things out to me and we talked a lot about Michigan and things that I should do while in Cape Town area.  I have him convinced to visit Michigan if he ever gets to the US (he’s never seen snow, people).  Finally, I made it to my destination.  I was immediately greeted by the loud and boisterous Elzette who is the park manager here.  She helped me get settled in my own little cabin, introduced me to Nina Lange, another volunteer from Germany, and then I was left to get unpacked.  I wanted to see the lions more than anything, so unpacked as quickly as I could before Nina walked with me through the park to see the 35 lions and 2 tigers.  This place is amazing, everyone.  It’s the only true lion sanctuary in the Western Cape and houses the largest lion population as well.  Each enclosure is an acre or more, and houses 1 to 3 lions, a forever home for captive born cats.  I’m falling more and more in love with this place every minute I’m here.

This is my view every day.  Mountains on every side.

I will talk a little about what my days are like, before I start talking about some profound experiences with the cats.  Each day starts out with me getting up at 7:30 am (I know you’re all thinking, Kelsey?  Up at 7:30?!?), eating a quick breakfast, usually toast and fruit, then being sent off to feed and water the ponies and goats.  We have 5 Shetland ponies here, one of which is the sweetest little filly ever, and somewhere around 12 goats, several llamas, and some really nasty black swans.  Following that is a short meeting of the staff and volunteers, then we head out immediately to clean 2 lion “camps” as the staff calls them.  The lions are bribed with chicken meat into a holding camp, so we can go into the larger enclosure to gather scat (“poopies” as Elzette likes to call it) and feathers.  The fence is checked and plants growing near the electric fence are sprayed and removed.    Following the lion camps, we are sent out to cut shrubs down of an alien species of plant for the hooved animals to munch on throughout the day.  Then we do all sorts of necessary jobs like making burn piles to prepare for the upcoming winter, burning the rubbish heap, cleaning swan and pony enclosures, cleaning out holding camps etc.  We have an hour-long lunch break and then do more work throughout the afternoon.  Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are feeding days, so we get to go out and talk to guests, answer questions, and watch the feeding.  The feeding is pretty cool because all the cats are up at once.  It’s the only time that you will see all of them out and about.  But the best times are in the evening.  After the day is over, I take a shower and eat dinner, then usually read before heading to bed pretty early (around 9 pm).  The lions are super active at night, sometimes they are so loud that it wakes me up out of a dead sleep.  That sound is better than any noise in the world.  It is so powerful!

But the cool thing about all of this work is that we are surrounded by lions all the time.  You glance up in your work and meet the gaze of a lion that has been trying to sneak up on you and scare you.  Or you ride by on the four-wheeler or the truck and they hide in the grass, then chase you as far as they can.  When Nina and I went out to burn the rubbish heap, Tigger the tiger came to the fence to see what we were doing, so I went over to say hello as well.  I crouched down at his level and he came right up to the fence, our faces were mere inches away, and he just stood there chuffing at me (chuffing is how tigers talk to one another).  So I did my best to chuff back.  I have never experienced something so profound in my life as sitting at an 800 pound animal’s level, staring into his bottomless eyes, and having a conversation with him.  I can’t even begin to describe what I felt in that moment.  The other night, Nina and I had a small braai (a barbecue) with new friends that work here at the park: Johan (Elzette’s husband), Karel and Jason, the two younger employees here.  We were sitting there watching the flames, when out of nowhere Chippy (the lion in the enclosure out my front door) appears at the fence to check out what was going on and say hello.  Nothing can compare to something like that.  The rest of the night we sat around talking shit about one another.  

This is Brutus, who was badly beaten and had his jaw broken before being rescued.

But Jason said something last night that really stuck with me, and it’s where I’m going to leave you.  He said that his brother is in school to become a doctor and make lots of money, but Jason himself has had experiences with these cats that money just can’t buy.  A lion looks into your eyes so deeply that you lose yourself and you are overcome by the sheer power of the animal.  And there is no place in the world he would rather be.  That, my friends, I can relate with.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am where I am meant to be right now, and that this is exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life. 

I miss you all, very much!  Mom, Dad, Grandma and Eric especially.  I did finally get to talk to them over the phone the other day (not Grandma yet), which was a true blessing.  I have access to internet here, but since I’m paying for it myself I will be using it minimally.  I’m sorry, but I won’t be posting too many photos to Facebook as that uses up data too quickly (I will post some, just not a lot).  I will reply to messages and emails when I can and write on here once a week.  I have a tumblr account (linked below) that I will post photos to when I can.  If you want to see all of my photos, you are welcome to come over to my house when I get back for a photo viewing party!  So thank you for listening to me ramble, I will try to keep it shorter next time!

TTFN (Tigger’s truly ARE wonderful things!)

~K~

http://lambamonglions713.tumblr.com/

2 months and 26 days

It's been a while since I last wrote on here, and let's just say that the excitement is building!  A lot of things have happened in the last few weeks and plans have been added!!  So, let me recant some of the VERY exciting news!!!!!

Since Christmas I have been feeling more and more like I'm not only meant to go to South Africa to just work with the lions.  Of course, this has been a life-long ambition and it is coming true, but I was beginning to feel like 3 and a half months weren't going to be enough.  So I have been praying about it and on more than one occasion, friends mentioned a "work away" website that lists posts from several different countries around the world where you can exchange your able bodied work for food and housing and family.  So I looked into it and contacted several places in South Africa that I felt could be a match for me.  Out of the 9 I contacted, I heard back from 4 and now I feel like I can say I have made my decision as to where I will head after my work with the lions is complete in August. 

I have been in contact with a woman for a few weeks now who wants me to come live with her and her family on their organic cattle farm.  I would get to help with rounding up the free range cows, building, gardening etc, even learning Afrikaans!  And most of all getting to help with the care of her one year old!  They also have several dogs and cats, as well as horses and a zorse!  For you people who don't know what that is, a zorse is half zebra half horse.  This usually happens when a mare is accidentally impregnated by a wandering male zebra.  Where the farm is located is surrounded by huge wildlife parks that are inhabited by several hoofed species, like zebra, antelope etc.  It's in the middle of the Sneeuberg Mountains that has become an isolated habitat.  It has a sustainable ecosystem of its own with species of plants, insects, and animals not found anywhere else in the world!  Much like the Galapagos Islands of Ecuador.  It has a lot of great hiking as well as being a very artistic area, which is very exciting for me as well!!  Along with living on this wonderful farm with these wonderful, hospitable people, I get to have my own living space with heat, kitchen, bedroom etc.  But most of all, I get to be a part of their family and get to know some of the culture during my stay. 

The plane tickets are bought and paid for, and I have all of the gear that I need, minus a few small details that I will be ordering soon.  I'm trying not to worry about the funding so much, even though it's an incredibly stressful situation.  I worry about running out while I am there or not having anything when I get back to the U.S.  But I'm trying not to think about that!!  I'm just trying to focus on the exciting things to come!

So, that's all I have for now!  Picture below is of the Sneeuberg Mountains...I know, gorgeous.  Can't wait!

~K~

Four months away

The year could not be going faster.  It is almost the end of 2012 already which means I am just a little over four months away from the greatest journey of my life (as of now, because I plan on doing many greatest journeys).  Preparing for this trip has been more than stressful.  Why is it that we constantly stress about absolutely everything?  To the point of exhausting ourselves?

First of all, I hate money.  I absolutely hate it.  Especially with over 20 grand of debt from college.  And it seems like no matter how hard I try, how many extra hours I work, how many commission pieces I do, I cannot make enough.  I find it extraordinarily sad that after working ourselves to death for four straight years, more and more college students struggle to make ends meet.  I count myself lucky that I have not one, but two jobs to keep me going.  And they are two wonderfully fabulous jobs with great people that I have come to love.  Plus I now have time to read books that aren't for school!  And even more time to do my artwork and get my website started!  But the travel bug has been tickling me lately and getting me more excited for this trip just around the corner.  And then STRESS drops into my lap.  The trip is already paid for and I also have now just purchased my new camera - Canon EOS 7D with a new telephoto lens as well!  It was a big purchase and I'm feeling a bit of buyer's remorse because it was a huge chunk of savings.  I have become so stressed about the funding for this trip, that I have actually worked myself into illness.  I now have constant headaches and extreme exhaustion along with a flock of butterflies roiling in my stomach.  Don't you think I would have learned my lesson by now?

Chris is constantly telling me not to worry, to take things one day at a time.  It's sometimes hard when you're looking at the big picture and starting to hyperventilate about all the bills.  And Chris just reminds me about how much I have been looking forward to this and how it's all going to work out in the end.  I have a wonderful family and support system that would never let me falter.  Plus, I got to see one of my best friends in the entire world this past weekend!  Sioned came all the way from Alaska to see me and I am so blessed to have a friend such as her!  And I get to go visit her before I leave for my big trip - going to Alaska has been another life dream, and to get to be there with her is just icing on the cake!  I also have incredible employment opportunities to work with big cats right here in the US upon my return from Africa.  So why DO we worry?  It's silly really.  I blame Obama.

I just have to remember Matthew 6:25-27, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

So long for now,
~K~

p.s. Isn't this the greatest thing you've ever seen?  This is Samson - can't wait to meet this character!

Having a goal

Ever had one of those days where one thing really gets you down and then all of a sudden, everything you've turned the other cheek to brings on the flood-rains?  I had one of those days recently.  Don't get me wrong, it takes A LOT to get me down.  And I mean a lot.  I know that I am a very strong person because of what I have gone through in my young life.  I carry a lot around on my shoulders and always try to stay positive because what's the point of living life sad or scared?  So I figured I would share what I went through the other day, and what it took to get me back on track.  It felt important to share it for some reason, so I don't know, maybe there's someone who really needs to hear what I have to say so it can influence them in some way.  So bear with me :))  And, yes, I will get to the lions!

Many of you know that I work retail at Cherry Republic a couple days of the week.  The rest of the time I'm out painting and teaching art and working in a gallery in my favorite place (as of yet) on Earth - Elk Rapids, Michigan.  I love my days at Cherry Republic and the people I work with there.  I don't have much of a social life because I work so much, so I get much of that fulfillment in the land of cherries.  I was having an absolutely wonderful day, when I said something I shouldn't have to a customer.  We were trying to make conversation because our credit card machines were being so slow and so we asked the woman at the register what she had bought at Chico's (a clothing store) and she explained her purchase and that she probably had gone overboard.  And I remarked, "Is your husband going to say 'oohhh, what did you get now?'"  It was meant to be funny, but I knew right away that I had hit a fresh wound.  Her reply was, "He won't say anything."  I of course apologized right away and was mentally punching myself.  She didn't say anything after that as we completed her purchase.  I have to admit I started crying right there in front of her.  My grandmother and I had been talking about Grandpa quite a lot lately and it immediately made me think of him and how lonely Grandma is.  So many thoughts ran through my head, like how this woman's husband had probably passed away recently and she was trying to have a nice day to forget a little.  To make a long story short, I felt horrible.  I had to go into the back to get a hold of myself.  Thank God, I only had about a half hour left of my shift. 

When I got home, Mom was just leaving for a couple hours so I decided to take Eli (my awesome dog) on a walk.  He loves walks and going down to the beach so he can run out in the open for a while.  I also took him to the dog park so he could play with some doggie friends which he REALLY loved.  He was tuckered out by the time we got home.  But that whole walk I had time to think and brood about unresolved or fresh wounds.  First of all, the Grandpa wound was opened pretty fresh from the reminder earlier that day.  Eric being moved away from home for his first year at college.  Marian is all the way in Colorado chasing after horses and living the wild life in the mountains.  Sioned is in Alaska living on a boat for months at a time studying invertebrates and furthering her career as a biologist.  And Jess is in Florida interning at Disney World, having the time of her life (whom I can't wait to visit down there in a month).  Chris is all the way in Indiana working his butt off (although we have done really well with the long distance).  All of my very greatest friends are far away from me.  And then I have a few friends that live not two minutes from me that seem to not want anything to do with me, who don't return calls or texts or any other means to communicate.  Needless to say, my social life is at an ultimate zero right now.  I do work about 50 hours a week which takes up a huge chunk of time, but the money is needed to save save save.  So I guess you catch my point about being mopey.  I got really down on myself and was punishing myself really hard, which is VERY unlike me. 

I got home and pretty much broke when I got to talk to Chris.  He lifted me back up again; I am so thankful for him in my life, he is my rock.  But once we finished talking I broke again.  And it took my mommy to make everything bad go away.  It's funny how moms always know how to make everything better, no matter how bad things are they always know just the right thing to say.  She explained to me that I DO have friends, they are all fulfilling their dreams just like I am.  I am just doing it closer to home for the time being.  And even though we don't get to talk too often, our friendship never goes away.  She told me how important it is to have goals in life, and I happen to have a really really BIG goal approaching that I am making happen all by myself.  And life after college is hard.  So very hard.  All there is is work now (until husband and my own family happen in a few years), and working all the time is different.  It's a big adjustment.  The most important thing she said was that friends come and go.  And, yes, it hurts when ones you thought would be there for the long haul flake out.  But it's the good ones who stay and we must always ALWAYS look ahead, never behind.  Chris, Jess, Sioned, Marian, and many others will always be there, and there will be new friends in the future.  I have a few newfound friends just in the past couple weeks (coworkers at Cherry Republic).  We have fun talking in accents and giggling like children.


And then there are my plans.  My big goal.  Africa.  Lions.  And TIGERS!  Drakenstein is adopting two tigers from a zoo that is closing in the southern cape.  It's going to be exciting to not only hear lions talk at night, but be able to walk next to tigers and hear them chuff in greeting (but hopefully not sassily spray at me).  I also read something about chimps and a few other animals that will be joining the Drakenstein family.  I will be in heaven.  I'm thinking about writing a book about my time in Italy and Scotland while I am in Africa since I will have a lot of time on my hands.  I journaled and blogged my whole time in Europe and went through some serious life changes that I kind of want to write more in depth about.  Who knows, I might write a book about Africa too :))  I've also started thinking about my life after Africa.  Buying a new car (Honda all the way, people!), moving to Tennessee to keep working with big cats (MAYBE - don't panic, nothing is final).  Keep painting to raise awareness about the problem with canned hunting of big cats not only in Africa but also right here in our ever so flawed country.  My future is bright and in God's hands.  And THAT is what is in the forefront of my mind. 


TTFN (ta ta for now), Tiggers truly are wonderful things :))
~K~

p.s. This is Edina, whom I cannot wait to meet - her face is so unique

Excitement rages at 8 months away...

I guess today you might say I got a little carried away (wow, rhyme much, Kelsey?).  I had a horrible night's sleep and, consequently, to occupy my brain I started thinking about things that excite me: one of those big things being my trip to Africa.  This got my heart racing and mind reeling to the point of no return, and because of that I am probably running on less than two hours of sleep today.  THEN when I got to work I read every page on Drakenstein Lion Park's website, looked at every single one of their lions and read their stories, and looked at every single picture on their Facebook page.  And THEN (no, I'm not done) I watched every YouTube video that mentioned Drakenstein and got a closer hand look at the place I will be living for four months and the people I will be working with (not to mention the furry ones).  Hence this 8-months-ahead-of-time post (8 months and 11 days to be precise).  BUT...this is not the first time I've done world traveling and I know how fast time flies.  Soon enough I'll be sitting back here on my bum in the USofA thinking "where the heck did Africa go?"  Needless to say, I'm looking forward to my time living in a cabin right next to the lion enclosures, listening to them talk at night, drawing them, loving them, working for them, and most of all bettering the lives of a few lions at a time.  I will leave you with a quote from the owner and founder of Drakenstein Lion Park, Paul "the lion" Hart: "Saving one animal may not change the world, but for that one animal the world will change forever."

Ta ta for now!  I'm sure I will be posting again soon about being even more excited. -K-

p.s. If you're interested in where I'm going, here are a few links for you:

http://www.lionrescue.org.za/

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Drakenstein-Lion-Park/219530708059835

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pVYyAJ1q_g

p.p.s. The lion shown above is Gaucho, one of the first that will definitely appear in a painting upon my return :))